Thursday, November 13, 2008

Gigantic Shop Of Horrors

Warning! Seriously hideous images to follow!

I live in a small upstate New York town with limited shopping choices. I found these dreadful offerings at our town's highest end department store, the Bon Ton. I didn't bother with rotating the images because with such ugly clothes, why bother?

My kids taught me a slang term, fugly; it would seem to apply here.

The following three sweaters all intermingle the same unwholesome shade of olive green with brighter colors (robin egg, cantaloupe, and lemon yellow) to gravely ill effect. Seriously, these look way better here than in person. These are all by Evan Picone. I suspect the designer is suffering from cataracts in both eyes.

And then there are these excrescences. The unabashedly grisly colors distract one from the horrible cut. The sleeves are bell shaped, an unfortunate choice for such a chunky textile. In real life, the taupe-grey background color of the second sweater ( the "unifying" color) appears more dominant, and brings to mind bruised flesh.

Here's a closeup of a top so you can see it's "floral" pattern clearly.

These last two are from the ritziest section of the store. Notice the green splotch on the ribbed neckline----it looks just like a guacamole stain. In a desperate bid to be bold, this designer threw together colors that just don't go!

The very existence of these preposterously horrid clothes makes me wonder about the efficacy of a free market society. How can competitive pressures to create superior products lead to such dismal results?


djinn said...

AAHHHH, blech..... There needs to be a much sterner warning at the top of that post, I was simply not prepared for the images waiting at the bottom of the scroll-down. Color-blind buyer? Do people in Ithaca walk around in those wonders?

kerfuffler said...

Mercifully I haven't seen anyone wearing them; I suspect they'd be even scarier if they were moving.

But no doubt when they are put on clearance, someone will think they are a good deal.

djinn said...

Maybe they'll wear them for warmth, under many many many other layers. Augrhgg.

Steve said...

My eyes, my eyes!!!!!

Funny, the Bon Ton is pretty much the only store at the Olean (NY) Mall near where my parents live. I often go there when visiting b/c I can find hidden gems often on the clearance rack b/c I guess everyone is too busy buying these hideous things instead! haha.

geebee said...

My head! Good thing it's two-for-one Ibuprofen day.

geebee said...

I can't stop thinking of these clothes, especially the last couple. Is it a small town thing? You buy them "because the don't show the dirt?" I imagine the occasional spill would improve those patterns?

kerfuffler said...

One of my friends said the last one looked like mustard squirted on a cow!

Anonymous said...

ECH!! those are AWFUL!