How long will that oil be spilling out of the Gulf?

Maybe for a very long time.

As far as I can tell, most estimates are based on an exponential decline (i.e., it will end relatively quickly), but it more probably looks like a hyperbolic decline--a fat tail long decline.

Read more than you want to know about it here.

An "Updated" Conservative Bible ?

Conservatives are eyeing the bible with suspicion as it does not really fit in all that well with their belief system. (Too much sharing, caring & forgiving and not nearly enough judging, stone throwing and smiting!) Some of them are now proposing to update it, to make the conservative values more apparent, and to eliminate the "liberal bias" that permeates many translations.

I'm not making this up!

Included in the list of ways to improve the bible is the following suggestion.

Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning

Gee, so much for teaching about the love of money being the root of all evil. They also reccommend:

Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word "Lord" rather than "Jehovah" or "Yahweh" or "Lord God.

"
"Liberal wordiness"! This is funny especially because just a few lines before they object to the "dumbing down" in many other modern bibles. Another linguistic peeve of theirs is the inclusion of so many "liberal" terms in the Bible:

Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop;[4] defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle"........(Socialistic terminology permeates English translations of the Bible, without justification. This improperly encourages the "social justice" movement among Christians. For example, the conservative word "volunteer" is mentioned only once in the ESV, yet the socialistic word "comrade" is used three times, "laborer(s)" is used 13 times, "labored" 15 times, and "fellow" (as in "fellow worker") is used 55 times.)

It does not seem to bother them that 'volunteer' means something very different from 'laborer', that is that laborers are supposed to get paid------perhaps that's against their conservative principles. (And don't even get me started about their need to use pomp-speak------they used the bombastic "utilize' where 'use' would have been sufficient.)

And then there's this:

Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots";[5] using modern political terms, such as "register" rather than "enroll" for the census

Sure, it makes sense to use modern words like 'gamble' or whatever. But they just might want to run this one by Conservative word smith and spin guru, Frank Luntz, who earned a pretty penny from the casino lobbies by spearheading the campaign to have 'gambling' referred to as the more innocent sounding 'gaming'. And how on earth is using the modern term 'register' rather than 'enroll' supposed to "combat harmful addictions"? Their logic on this point escapes me.......

The writing throughout their proposal suffers from poor grammar, inferior structure, faulty logic and questionable style. Given their evident inability to write well, this new Bible should be a doozie! Given their audience it will probably be a bestseller.

Schoolchildren singing Nixon's, Bush's praises

Glenn Beck and various other life-forms are foaming around their mouth-like openings because a couple of videos of schoolchildren singing songs to Obama have surfaced. This is not brand-new behavior. Here's a school choir singing to Pres. Nixon (with Henry Kissinger conducting ftw):

Even more tantalizing is this report from the Washington Wire in the aftermath of Katrina:

At the annual White House Easter Egg Roll, children from the stricken Gulf Coast region serenaded First Lady Laura Bush with a song praising the beleaguered Federal Emergency Management Agency. To the tune of Hey Look Me Over, about 100 young children from Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama sang:

Our country’s stood beside us
People have sent us aid.
Katrina could not stop us, our hopes will never fade.
Congress, Bush and FEMA
People across our land
Together have come to rebuild us and we join them hand-in-hand!

More Beck insanity:


"I've been on food stamps and welfare, did anyone help me out?" Uh, yes, someone did help you out, the Government. Perhaps Glenn Beck and Craig T. Nelson believe foodstamps come from the foodstamp fairy and welfare arrives courtesy of Santa Claus.

h/t to the fine commentators at pharyngula for the links.

Another definition of Communism

Check out the posters from this anti-civil rights rally from about fifty years ago. I finally understand why the signs of so many teabaggers from current protests make so little sense. When they use the words 'communism' and 'socialism', they are not referring to economic policies. This is what they are getting at. This is what they were taught communism means by their parents. (There's even an Antichrist poster in there too!)


(I found this image at Andrew Sullivan's thedailydish.)

Way To Go, Bachmann!

Earlier this year, Michele Bachmann (Republican rep. from Minnesota) announced her intention to refuse to answer census questions, fueling paranoia about the census amongst the wingnut conservative faction. Bachmann's mischief has now apparently resulted in the death of a census worker. A 51 year old census worker's body was found hanging from a tree in Kentucky, and investigators have ruled it a homicide.

Although the investigation is ongoing, because the victim of the hanging had the the letters FED scrawled on his chest, the FBI is concerned that the killing was politically motivated, and census workers in the county where this took place have temporarily suspended door to door interviews.

There have been too many threats of violence from this faction of the Republican party, and if the Republican leadership wants to demonstrate any patriotism whatsoever, they need to repudiate this senseless killing and anti-government bile.

Fear of the census is only one of Bachmann's paranoid delusions.

DIY?

Some people blame the recession and others blame body dysmorphic disorder or BDD. But more and more people are attempting crazy (stupid) do it yourself plastic surgery procedures.


This woman injected her face with cooking oil ?!? She was a model before, and now.....!

So if you can't stand the way you look, get professional help: a plastic surgeon, or perhaps better yet, a psychiatrist. After all, the plastic surgery route did not seem to work wonders for Michael Jackson if memory serves.

What Does Ahmadinejad Stand For?

I was really hoping that the Iranians would vote Ahmadinejad out of office as a signal that they wanted Iran to move forward in a reality-based way. Now it appears that even though he was voted out, he is unwilling to let Iran move in a different direction.

This is terribly important as Ahmadinejad is even more extreme in his beliefs than most Westerners seem to want to understand. To get an idea of just how extreme he is, one need only consider his role during the Iran-Iraq war. Ahmadinejad was a trainer and organizer of the basij, the children martyrs that would roll on the ground, detonating the mines so that soldiers and expensive equipment would be spared. (Handicapped children were often preferred for this duty, because that way families could keep their able-bodied children.)

In pondering the behavior of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, I cannot help but think of the 500,000 plastic keys that Iran imported from Taiwan during the Iran-Iraq War of 1980-88. At the time, an Iranian law laid down that children as young as 12 could be used to clear mine fields, even against the objections of their parents. Before every mission, a small plastic key would be hung around each of the children’s necks. It was supposed to open for them the gates to paradise....

....Today, however, Ahmadinejad appears in public in his Basiji uniform. During the war, he served as one of the Basiji instructors who turned children into martyrs. The generation that fought in the Iran-Iraq War has come to power along with Ahmadinejad. He owed his election in Summer 2005 to the contemporary Basiji movement. In Fall, he announced a “Basiji Week.”

Ahmadinejad subscribes to the extreme fundamentalist view that this life is of no value, and that suicidal, homicidal acts in the name of Islam are the highest form of virtue. His anti-Israel and the West rhetoric needs to be taken at face value. His regime would be likely to use nuclear weapons against Israel and the West, should they be able to build them.

Some would rationally argue that that would make no sense as it would kill even more Palestinians than Jews, but that consideration is meaningless to anyone of Ahmadinejad's mindset. Any Muslims killed during an assault on Israel would be guaranteed martyr status, so really, he would be doing them a favor. Any Iranian citizens killed by the inevitable retaliation would likewise join that enviable designation, so Ahmadinejad would be doing them a huge favor too.

Sadly, the restraint imposed by MAD just does not apply when delusionally apocalyptic tyrants are at the helm. Let's hope that Iranians are able to dislodge this evil megalomaniac once and for all.

The Best Joke Ever

According to a study done at The Ohio State University, conservatives by and large don't seem to understand that Colbert is making fun of conservatives!

Using data from an experiment (N = 332), we found that individual-level political ideology significantly predicted perceptions of Colbert's political ideology. Additionally, there was no significant difference between the groups in thinking Colbert was funny, but conservatives were more likely to report that Colbert only pretends to be joking and genuinely meant what he said while liberals were more likely to report that Colbert used satire and was not serious when offering political statements. Conservatism also significantly predicted perceptions that Colbert disliked liberalism.

Just too funny! I wonder what they make of this!

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Bill Posey Alligator Rumors
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Gay Marriage Commercial

A New Threat-----Coming To A Neighborhood Near You.

EMBED-Strange Cat Door Surprise - Watch more free videos

I can't help but wonder what the home owner would be allowed to do----although pretty clearly this one was complicit.

Spring Fashion Update

Even a super expensive handbag cannot save this look! YIKES! Her face makes clear how painful her shoes are. She's not the only one hurting------MY EYES, MY EYES!

(This picture was in the Dailymail.co.uk, but I can't track down the URL. The woman is the mother of a British football star who has launched his own fashion line------she is wearing a shirt from his line! What advertising! It reminds me somehow of a funny comment about ads that I read recently. "With a name like Smuckers, it's got to smuck.")

Bachmann: Too Ignorant To Represent Anyone

Bachmann went on Beck's radio show and made preposterous claims about the impact of other nations developing a hybrid reserve currency. She clearly does not not what she is talking about, but since most people don't either, Beck's audience probably feels threatened by this new menace. Bachmann wants Congress to draft legislation forbidding this new reserve currency, but does not seem to understand that other countries can use whatever they want to for their own financial reserves; Congress does not write law for the whole world.

Is there a responsible Republican anywhere that will put Beck's audience's minds at ease about this non-threat?

Below, read this transcript (from Matt Yglesias) of part of her interview on Beck's show:

BACHMANN: Let me tell you, there’s something that’s happening this week in Congress that could be the eventual unraveling for our freedom, and it’s this. I had asked the Treasury Secretary and Ben Bernanke, the Federal Reserve Chair, if they would categorically denounce–

BECK: I know.

BACHMANN: –taking the United States off of the dollar and putting us on an international global currency. Because as you know, Russia, China, Brazil, India, South Africa, many national have lined up now and called for an international currency, a One World currency. And they want to get off the dollar as the reserve currency.

BECK: Most people don’t understand what that means.


BACHMANN: What that means is that all of the countries of the world would have a single currency. We would give up the dollar as our currency and we would just go with a One World currency. And now for the first time, we’re seeing major countries like China, India, Russia, countries like that, calling for a one world currency and they want this discussion to occur at the G20. So I asked both the Treasury Secretary and the Federal Reserve chair if they would categorically denounce this. The reason why is because if we give up the dollar as our standard, and co-mingle the value of the dollar with the value of coinage in Zimbabwe, that dilutes our money supply. We lose country over our economy. And economic liberty is inextricably entwined with political liberty. Once you lose your economic freedom, you lose your political freedom. And then we are no more, as an exceptional nation, as we always have been. So this is imperative.

Why Bachmann feels the need to allude to American exceptionalism is anyone's guess. I suspect it is because it has a lot of syllables, The Alaskan Governor talked about it a lot, and people don't know what it means, but it sounds patriotic.

It's embarrassing to have such an idiot in Congress although I expect there are many.

Relief Is In Sight

Thank goodness for the cutting edge coverage at 'The Onion'!

I had thought that the mortgage meltdown with its seismically destructive ripples throughout the economy would have been enough to quell all the irrational exuberance. But the audacity of hope being what it is, requires that we seek out more advanced solutions.

Finally we have the pharmacological technology to target individual cheery people, so we will no longer have to rely on tsunamis, earthquakes, Republican candidates and financial catastrophes with all their attendant collateral damage.

But take these welcome tidings in stride, or you may need a dose yourself.

Just Quoting Sullivan

13 Feb 2009 12:37 pm
If The Right Were Intellectually Honest ...

"This Manzi post would be their argument going forward. Here's why they are not being intellectually honest, and Manzi's post includes the relevant facts. The GOP has passed what amounts to a spending and tax-cutting and borrowing stimulus package every year since George W. Bush came to office. They have added tens of trillions to future liabilities and they turned a surplus into a trillion dollar deficit - all in a time of growth. They then pick the one moment when demand is collapsing in an alarming spiral to argue that fiscal conservatism is non-negotiable. I mean: seriously."

Read all of Sullivan's post to appreciate the cynical partisanship of the Republicans in Congress.

Sea Kittens?

PETA has begun a new campaign to protect fish from human consumption. Their new strategy is to "re-brand" fish as "sea kittens". That is, they aim to teach youngsters to think of fish as kittens so that they will be reluctant to eat them.

If children were taught to refer to fish as "sea kittens," reflecting that fish, like cats and dogs, are "individuals" that "do have friendships," fewer fish might be killed for food or sport, said Pulin Modi, a PETA spokesman.

It is unclear in what venues they plan to implement their educational initiative, but so far they have contacted Spearfish High School in South Dakota and asked them to change their name to Sea Kitten High School. (The principal was not convinced.)

In principle I am not opposed to the idea of people replacing animal protein with other protein sources. People make such decisions for a variety of reasons: health, the environment, ethical qualms or squeamishness.

Three things bother me about this initiative, however. First of all, they are not attempting to convince people by using the truth. They are marketing a falsehood, namely that fish are just like kittens. Not only are they equating fish with mammals, but by calling them kittens rather than cats, they are disingenuously ascribing 'baby status' to all fish. That's right, anyone who eats fish is killing babies.

I also find it objectionable that they are merely trying to make fish seem cute to make it seem wrong to hurt them. If fish were ugly, cold and slimy rather than warm, cute and fuzzy then they wouldn't merit protection or compassion. What kind of moral lesson is that to teach children?

But what bothers me most of all is that this dishonest campaign targets young children.
It's fine to approach teenagers with facts and questions that can allow them to make their own decisions in a rational, informed way. But brainwashing little kids that eating fish is evil with a cadre of cute fish caricatures is unethical. Young children's diets should be determined by parents and pediatricians. These dishonest animal rights activists should butt out of the decisions that families make. (I'd be happy if young children were protected from all marketing, frankly.)
I don't see PETA having any success with this laughable campaign. They might cause some short lived friction at the dinner table, but when little kids figure out that most fish are not particularly cute, their support for fish rights will dissipate. PETA would probably have better luck protecting fish by noting how frequently it smells bad.

(The cute kitten in a bag poster is available at www.popartuk.com/photography/keith-kimberlin/..)

Alternate Reality Conservatism

Obama recently made a silly jest referring to Nancy Reagan having seances at the White House. Conservatives have made a mountain out of this molehill, and Obama called Nancy to apologize in person. Conservative blogger, Hinderaker, wrote this week:

Bush never gets sloppy when he is speaking publicly. He chooses his words with care and precision, which is why his style sometimes seems halting. In the eight years he has been President, it is remarkable how few gaffes or verbal blunders he has committed. If Obama doesn't raise his standards, he will exceed Bush's total before he is inaugurated.

To which Bob Cesca, journalist, responded:

Fact: not only is the president-elect one of the finest orators in modern political history, but he far exceeds President Bush in terms of intellectualism and verbal discipline. In other words, a Bush gaffe reveals an inherent lack of intellectual curiosity and a general ineptitude when it comes to, well, talking. An Obama gaffe is an isolated incident, exclusive of his ability to speak, think and reason.

"A Day In The Life Of A Conservative"

I found this here, but can't find the original source. I picture Joe the Plumber when I read it. (If you feel like skipping over some of this, make sure to read the last paragraph.)

Liberals Suck
(A Day in the Life of a Conservative)


Joe gets up at 6am and fills his coffee pot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. That medication is safe to take because some stupid Commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and efficacy.


All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance -- and now Joe gets it, too.

Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat-packing industry.

In his morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much of what it contained.

Joe gets dressed, walks outside, and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.


Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and DIED for these working standards. Joe's employer adheres to these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed through no fault of his own, he'll get a worker's compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

It's noon and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.

Joe is finally home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm in the country. He gets in his car, ready for the long drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't even have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

Joe is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so that Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back into his car for the drive home and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. The host doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day...indeed, throughout his LIFE. Joe agrees. "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of himself, just like I have."

KKK

A woman was just killed trying to leave an initiation ceremony for the KKK. (This man has been arrested in connection to this crime.) Read more here.

When will the FBI treat the KKK more like the terrorist organization that it is? With Obama as our President elect, this group will probably be inspired to commit more crimes against our citizenry and government.

The KKK and other extremist militias will need careful monitoring in the years ahead.

More Adventures of the Box Slider

(I came across this at Andrew Sullican's The Daily Dish. It was also included in the "magically appearing" videos that accompanied this cat's 13 second debut on adizzylife. I was afraid people might miss this, so I posted it separately for people to enjoy.)

This cat has a great hobby, huh?

A personal statement on Prop 8 by Djinn

My family is Mormon. I grew up Mormon. A huge portion of the people I love are Mormon. I am horrified that the Mormon Church has decided to spend so much time, energy, and members' money on trying to pass California's Proposition 8, which would invalidate marriages between same sex couples. Why Mormons have decided to make this such an issue I find deeply confusing, because Evangelicals, who agree with the Mormon position that Gays are bad bad bad, still won't like them, while the Mormon brand has now become associated with homophobia and bigotry. Who are Mormon missionaries going to teach?

At the same time, as this article , this article, this article, and this website show, just because someone is Mormon does not mean they hold the same position as the Church at large. Knowing that someone is Mormon does not also impart the knowledge that they have difficulty with gay people.

The Mormon church has a website, which gives reasons that they feel that people should be against allowing same-sex couples to be wed. Unfortunately, it turns out that most of these reasons are, to put it harshly, lies. Below is a paper, signed by rather a large number of law professors, showing why.

No on Prop. 8 lawyers statement on marriage - Upload a Document to Scribd

We do not believe it just to mingle religious influence with civil government...

-Doctrine & Covenants, 134:4

Is Djinn Spiralling Out Of Control In Her Obsession With Palin?

No!

A good number of those palicentric posts were submitted by Kerfuffler, a new-to-the-blogosphere friend of Djinn's from way back. I, Kerfuffler, do hereby apologize for the obsessive (incessant?) posting on this most painful of topics, but I really needed to practice from one day to the next posting things just to get a hang of linking, embedding, and what not.( And Palin kept supplying so much material!) You see, I am my family's resident techno-phobe. Until quite recently, merely sending an e-mail was a source of jaw-clenching tension for me. So, yay me!

I have posted other items as well. (Fruitfly foolishness, Western Spaghetti, inflatable street art, those evolving-painting videos and a bunch of other stuff.) I started on Sept. 30th. I guess Djinn and I have similar styles and interests, so many of you did not notice. I did not mean to be an impostor! In any event, I'm pleased to make your virtual acquaintance.

By the way, the image above is a FANTASTIC OPTICAL ILLUSION, but to get the full effect, you need to enlarge the image, and I might add, the bigger, the better! (Just hit Ctrl+ a few times and let the dizzying swirling begin.) Djinn, I know you like optical illusions, but you just might want to avoid this one!