Be very afraid -- poetry

Rules of English

Robert Lowth, too trivial even for trivial pursuit

Said, in 1762, [In a "short introduction to English Grammar" that]

"Thou shalt not end a sentence in a preposition." [I may be paraphrasing here.]

And, even though flat out wrong, the world

Bent

Perhaps I should be thankful, as sinning by violating grammatical

rules is easier on the pocketbook and the knees than the more

celebrated types of violation.

But if for him, why not me? And you, too, should get the thrill

of the small sin.

So, I declare

The word "flaxseed" should occur with much greater frequency in English.

I should no longer follow E. It's time I got to be the leader. E has

his own way for much too long.

Junior High English teaches should be force to wear a scarlet

"ain't" prominently displayed at all times. Even when bathing.

When you split an infinitive, the person next to you must pay you a quarter.

If someone could arrange for the "lay" "lie" distinction to disappear

under unclear circumstances, there may be a cash reward.

To master a stupid rule, to master a rule imposed by some authority,

incorporating the authority of the original into yourself is

sympathetic magic. You beome stronger at the expense of the world,

which becomes less rich. You what this was about, didn't you?

Don't impose your rules on me. I'll split my infinitives. I might

split something else even. I might even wear plaid with polka dots.

Consider the source. Lay Off.

Dec. 2004