Thank goodness for the cutting edge coverage at 'The Onion'!
I had thought that the mortgage meltdown with its seismically destructive ripples throughout the economy would have been enough to quell all the irrational exuberance. But the audacity of hope being what it is, requires that we seek out more advanced solutions.
Finally we have the pharmacological technology to target individual cheery people, so we will no longer have to rely on tsunamis, earthquakes, Republican candidates and financial catastrophes with all their attendant collateral damage.
But take these welcome tidings in stride, or you may need a dose yourself.