Election judge is dumbfounded her ballot was rejected

I swear, not from the Onion, the Minneapolis Star-Tribune.

Shirley Graham was astonished to learn that a lawyer from Norm Coleman's campaign on Tuesday blocked her absentee ballot from being added to the U.S. Senate recount.

"I'm an election judge," said Graham, of Duluth. "I expected to be the last person whose ballot wouldn't be counted."

Stay Classy, Israel

Israel "accidentally" rams three times, and almost sinks, a boatfull of doctors and relief supplies sailing to Gaza.

I see your Kennedy and raise you a gay man.

Perhaps Gov. Patterson will make an end-run around Caroline Kennedy and appoint an openly gay man, Danny O'Donnell (plus, bonus celebrity tie -- Rosie O'Donnell's brother), as Senator. Read about it here.

Geitner - Summers = Obama Economy FAIL

Oh, and Happy New Year!

The New York Times has an article, so useful, which shows precicely when Larry Summers, with his co-conspirators Alan Greenspan and Robert Rubin tanked our economy.

In 1997, the Commodity Futures Trading Commission, a federal agency that regulates options and futures trading, began exploring derivatives regulation. The commission, then led by a lawyer named Brooksley E. Born, invited comments about how best to oversee certain derivatives. Ms. Born was concerned that unfettered, opaque trading could “threaten our regulated markets or, indeed, our economy without any federal agency knowing about it,” she said in Congressional testimony. She called for greater disclosure of trades and reserves to cushion against losses. ... In early 1998, Mr. Rubin’s deputy, Lawrence H. Summers, called Ms. Born and chastised her for taking steps he said would lead to a financial crisis, according to Mr. Greenberger. Mr. Summers said he could not recall the conversation but agreed with Mr. Greenspan and Mr. Rubin that Ms. Born’s proposal was “highly problematic.”

And then, in 2008, due pretty much entirely to unfettered derivitive proliferation, our economy tanked. The same article, mentions, delicately, that

The Wall Street debacle that swallowed firms like Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers, and imperiled the insurance giant American International Group, has been driven by the fact that they and their customers were linked to one another by derivatives.

As to Tim Geithner, he just handed over somewhere around $320 billion to a friends' company.

Tim Geithner, former President of the Federal Reserve, has been appointed Secretary of the Treasury. He's a protégé of Robert Rubin, who is now director and senior advisor of Citigroup. Luckily for Rubin, the government has-completely coincidentally-agreed to insure Citigroup against losses of upwards $300 billion. This is in addition to an allocation of $20 billion from the $700 billion bailout package, which followed an earlier $25 billion injection. Quite an expensive coincidence.

From Laney Tower.

Perfect historical summation of the current Israel-Gaza mess

Zbigniew Brzezinski, who brokered the historic Camp David accords, arguably the most important treaty between Israel and its Arab neighbors, discusses the historic framework of the US, Israel, and Gaza; and gives a roadmap for the future, all in 9 minutes. Plus, this short clip shows pretty much everything wrong with the mainstream media. Watch Joe Scarborough make the case that because he has read the New York Times and the Washington Post he knows as much as Zbig, who, you know, WAS THERE.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

As to his analysis, don't forget that Zbig is a hawk. If he says Israel overreacted, we should maybe pay attention.

Pattern matching, less useful than you'd think

I've been suffering from Vertigo. When dizzy (which is pretty much most of the time) I feel dizzy, but no less intelligent than normal. This, however, is an illusion. When my ear/eyes/brain malfunctions, all the normal balance functions taken care of by the hindbrain move right up to the cerebrum, displacing things like, uh, speaking, rationality, etc. Disturbing, esp., as I can't feel it. I never feel dumber, just more miserable.

I just read an interesting article(please read) describing how people who feel less in control of their lives find more spurious patterns than those with more control. Looking at my own pattern, I feel free to suppose that those with less brainpower find more nonexistent patterns than the smarter among us. Yes, I think we're hardwired to find patterns, even when none exist. It is actual difficult work for us to determine which patterns are real and which are figments of our inborn overactive imaginations.

Why, you say? Uh, well, one totally non-scientific data anecdote. I've noticed that when I feel especially vertiginous, I assume the actions of my beloved fiancee (take a bow, Geebee), my family, and assorted souls with walk-on parts, have rather more significance (mostly negative) than warranted. That is, I see nonexistent patterns in their behavior. More specifically, I am much more difficult, more touchy, seeing slights where none were intended. Matching nonexistent patterns willy-nilly, and, as it seems to me, oh-so-cleverly. When my vertigo clears, the patterns, the significance, the pattern disappears. The actions are just people doing stuff. No global significance attached. That is all.

Love your mother, eat breakfast, have sex later. For reals.

Some things that look difficult (at least in Japan) may be simple. Daughters who like their mothers and who eat breakfast start sexual activity 3 years later (19) than those that have antagonistic relationships with their mothers and don't eat breakfast (16). Love you, Calla Lilly, Apricot Blossom, and Snapdragon.

Look, it's in an article, all sciency and everything! So, all, be loving, accepting, and stock up on instant oatmeal.

Here's the cite. See? All together now. "Love you, sweetheart; of course I trust you to be home by midnight."

One of my favorite poems by Jack Gilbert.

(Just think, I could have posted a poem I wrote. All together now, deep cleansing breath.)

Bring In the Gods - Jack Gilbert

Bring in the gods I say, and he goes out. When he comes
back and I know they are with him, I say, Put tables in front
of them so they be may be seated, and food upon the tables
so they may eat. When they have eaten, I ask which of them
will question me. Let him hold up his hand, I say.
The one on the left raises his hand and I tell him to ask.
Where are you now, he says. I stand on top of myself, I hear
myself answer. I stand on myself like a hilltop and my life
is spread before me. Does it surprise you, he asks. I explain
that in our youth and for a long time after our youth we cannot
see our lives. Because we are inside of that. Because we can
see no shape to it since we have nothing to compare it to.
We have not seen it grow and change because we are too close.
We don't know the names of things that would bind them to us,
so we cannot feed on them. One near the middle asks why not.
Because we don't have the knack for eating what we are living.
Why is that? she asks. Because we are too much in a hurry.
Where are you now? the one on the left says. With the ghosts.
I am with Gianna those two years in Perugia. Meeting secretly
in the thirteenth-century alleys of stone. Walking in the fields
through the spring light, she well dressed and walking in heels
over the plowed land. We are just outside the city walls
hidden under the thorny blackberry bushes and her breasts naked.
I am with her those many twilights in the olive orchards,
holding the heart of her as she whimpers. Now where are you?
he says. I am with Linda those years and years. In American
cities, in København, on Greek islands season after season.
Lindos and Monolithos and the other places. I am with Michiko
for eleven years, East and West, holding her clear in my mind
the way a native can hold all of his village at one moment.
Where are you now? he says. I am standing on myself the way
a bird sits in her nest, with the babies half asleep underneath
and the world all leaves and morning air. What do you want?
a blonde one asks. To keep what I already have, I say. You ask
too much, he says sternly. Then you are at peace, she says.
I am not at peace, I tell her. I want to fail. I am hungry
for what I am becoming. What will you do? she asks. I will
continue north, carrying the past in my arms, flying into winter.

--Jack Gilbert.

This is my touchstone. I will continue north, carrying the past in my arms, flying into winter.

A slightly different take on Christmas

Leonard Cohen, live, 1967, "The Stranger."

Merry Christmas, in all its different forms.

For my friends and family in Utah .... and beyond (Hint hint CA, NY, and MA)

I'll have Bbbb---lll----ueeee Christmas without you.

It's a Blues Christmas.

There's 15 inches of snow on the ground in Portland, I missed my first vertigo appointment due to the ENTIRE CITY BEING SHUT DOWN, we've been inside for 8 days or so, but yet it's a beautiful Christmas morning. I feel better than I have in weeks. Posting has been light to nonexistent due to dizziness--real, not metaphorical. However, in this brief burst of verticality, I'll try to post a thing or two.

I hate hate hate MOST christmas music. "Most christmas music" is a handful of warhorse canonical songs that have been sung unto death. By Sting. For this post, I'll try to acquaint you with some christmas songs that you never heard playing in Wal-Mart.

First, Lightnin' Hopkins singing a song variously named "Santa," or "Santa Claus." Quite the red suit and white beard.


Here's Freddy King, having a less-than-optimal Christmas "Everybody's singing Merry Christmas, as they watch the sky fill with reindeers. I'm smiling on the outside, but inside, I'm crying Christmas tears."


And, an actual Christmas Chestnut, except it's sung by Nat King Cole, and is about chestnuts during Christmas. I, at various times in my life, have been forced to listen to to that genre terribly terribly misnamed "easy listening." Easy for some, one can only assume. Anyhoo.... every once in awhile a song would come on that I thought was not only beautiful, but all the way to sublime. They were always sung by Nat King Cole. Here's his Christmas song, probably the only standard Christmas song (I keep repeating that phrase, would an abbreviation help?) that might, perhaps, move me to tears.


Finally, Leadbelly, the man who was released from Parchmen Farm TWICE for murder, because the warden liked his singing. A lovely, sweet Christmas song. My fave. (Of the Blues.) "Children all be so happy on a Christmas day."
There's a wealth of stunning Christmas blues not available on Youtube. Assuming the world does not yet again begin to spin to fast for comfort, I'll see if I can post some of the old great Bluesmen's songs.

And, now for something completely different: Bach - Christmas Oratorio: Cantata #1 BWV248 - Mov. 1/9. I love his choir music. Actually, I love all his music, but the choir music has a special place in my heart, and this one is even seasonal!

Merry Christmas! My Christmas wish, listen to more Pogues and skip church, for the children.

First, the most beautiful Christmas song of modern times--The Pogues, live, inexplicably, on St. Patrick's day, singing "Fairytale of New York." Shane Mcgowan is a world treasure.


Second, looks like churchgoing may make you less honest. So, once a year, month, week, skip church and have fun with your kids instead!

Here is an enjoyably impudent piece of research from Innsbruck University. People were observed buying newspapers, using an honesty box to pay. They were interviewed later - so the person with the clipboard seemed unconnected with the newspaper purchase - and asked about age, occupation and attitudes. Men cheated more than women; people over 50 cheated more than the young; higher education made no difference; and by a long chalk churchgoers cheated most. This may be a statistical anomaly. But we all know one thing: religion no more makes people good than lack of it makes the rest of us bad.

From The Guardian.

And to get everyone even more in the spirit: "Christmas 1979" by Billy Childish and the Musicians of the British Empire. Not to give the plot away, but "Merry F****** Christmas to you all."



And as a final Christmas present, yet another Pogues song, live, "If I should fall from grace from God." My youngest, Snapdragon, listening to the Pogues when she was all of, what, five? Said "Irish Punk is just like normal Irish music, only faster."

Poor Bernie Madoff, he's punished by, uh, being sent to his room/$7,000,000 home.

Bernard Madoff, accused of the largest fraud in U.S. history, will be allowed to remain in his $7 million Park Avenue apartment instead of being sent to jail, under terms of an agreement announced today by federal prosecutors. Found Here.

Words fail.

So, what's happening to those rich people that lost everything?

A view from the front lines.

More Shoe-Throwing

Bush invades Iraq for no discernable reason and causes the death of upwards of a million Iraqis.

Muntazer Al-Zaidi throws two shoes at Bush and causes no damage.

Guess which one is getting "interrogated".

I heard rumors it was Christmastime.

So, in celebration of the season, and in celebration of all things LOLcats (and beyond) I bring you A ScaryDuck Christmas; no ducks, and not scary.

Sample dialog:

Mary O'Nazareth: Hello. I am Mary O'Nazareth and I am excellent. Today, I shall be mostly visiting my boyf Joe Carpenter becoz we r very much in LUB in a proper, chaste manner. Also, I like kittens and ponies

TEH ANGLE OF TEH LORD: Hello. I am TEH ANGLE OF TEH LORD and I am excellent. Let's see if she recognises me...

M. O'Nazareth: Hello TEH ANGLE OF TEH LORD. Sup?

TEH ANGLE OF TEH LORD: Message from upstairs. U R up TEH duff. LOL

M. O'Nazareth: FTW! Will I be havng a puppy? And wait... is that a false beard?

TEH ANGLE OF TEH LORD: Errr... nothing. TEH boss say u hv 2 marry J. Carpenter and call teh baby JEBUS. LOL

M. O'Nazareth: JEBUS? Is he going to be Mexican?

TEH ANGLE OF TEH LORD: JEBUS H CHRIST

and bonus:

J.Carpenter: Here's three nails, put me up for the night.
Receptionist: LOL, that's an Easter joke, sir.

No Shoe Bomb This Time

At a press conference in Iraq, a citizen chucked both shoes at Bush. This is considered in Iraqi culture to be an extreme insult.
A CNN commentator declared Bush was no lame ducker.


Considering that we all have to remove our shoes to pass through airport security after the shoe bomb incident, how will this change the security protocol for press conferences. Will we be seeing barefoot journalists? Or will we design special restraints that clamp their feet to the ground? In what spectacular way can we over-react?

Bubbles, all alike

The good folks at Irvine Housing Blog have created an all-purpose bubble chart. Housing bubble? Oil Bubble?



OK, here's an Oil Bubble Chart, courtesy of those fine folks at Calculated Risk.

Compare and contrast. Feel free to talk amongst yourselves.

GM paid $300,000. for their Christmas tree.

Really. But then again, they only want some portion of 15 Billion dollars. How much of our taxpayer money has slipped away into the pockets and under the couch cushions (oh yeah, and bonus checks) for the financials?

Don't worry everyone; Bernie Madoff has an emergency plan.

From the Madoff Securities website:

Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC (“Madoff”) has created a Business Continuity Plan (“BCP”) designed to enable a rapid recovery and timely resumption of critical operations following a significant business disruption (“SBD”).

So, if you're one of the investors who lost some of that Fifty Billion Dollars (doesn't it look like more when written out?) when the Madoff hedge fund turned out to be a ponzi scheme, not to worry! There's a plan B!

How did he get away with it?

According to the NYT,

The Securities and Exchange Commission, which investigated Mr. Madoff in 1992 but cleared him of wrongdoing, appears to have been completely surprised by the charges of fraud.

The SEC also conducted two inquiries — in 2005 and 2007 — into Madoff's company, according to the AP. Ooops. Drat. Sorry.

Further, according to Bloomberg:

Maxam [Madoff's accountants] provided audited financial reports showing that the assets were held in custody at Bank of America Corp., Flatto said. Flatto said he learned this week that the reports were wrong: The assets were kept in custody at Madoff’s firm.

It's clear we have, what? essentially NO securities regulation in this country. That's quite the discrepancy. Thank you, Bush.

On a slightly different tack--Bernie Madoff admitted to the fraud and his sons turned him in. Why? Perhaps they're guilty too? And Dad saved them by sacrificing himself? Or maybe Bernie just figured his time had run out.

And look! Here's someone else, (a high-flying lawyer with his very own law firm that employed 250 lawyers, cut it out you guys!) busily swindling innocent investors! But, only of 380 million, plus another 35 million in escrow accounts. You have to understand, in an escrow account, which holds client money, misplacing a couple of hundred dollars, putting money in or taking it out at the wrong time, are all serious legal errors, which may put a lawyer's license to practice law on the line. 35 Million? Wow. Who needs that much money?

Pat Boone -- Either figuring out or totally forgetting that he ever sang "Tutti Frutti"

Breaking news! Pat Boone has come out either for or against "Sexual Jihadists! " Kid ya' not. Totally Rockin' Pat! Is leather involved? How do I sign up?

What The Diddly?

After presiding over the unprecedented loss of $11 billion in assets, and the sale of the company,

Merrill Lynch & Co. chief John Thain has suggested to directors that he get a 2008 bonus of as much as $10 million, but the battered securities firm's compensation committee is resisting his request, according to people familiar with the situation.

They are only resisting paying him royally because people are watching. For too long ridiculous executive compensation has been the rule rather than the exception. It's not in the stock holders' interests to pay like this, but since it is difficult for small time investors to effect company policy, the fat cats who sit on one another's boards keep authorizing these outrageous packages.

For a long time, executives have argued that the companies need to pay top dollar to attract the very best management. Hmmmm, loosing $11 billion, that's certainly exceptional performance. I guess he is in a league with other corporate earners such as Mulally at Ford who got on the order of $28,000,000!

Gettin Her Grove On!

I'm in good company......

Move over Kyoto

There is pressure on Obama to have the US join other countries in the Kyoto Treaty (and the new version of it that is being worked on) to reduce carbon emissions. Critics say that the cap and trade structure of that agreement does not work because the enforcement and regulation make it too easy to get around. Furthermore, some "progress" only exists on paper as far as reduction of CO2 goes. For example, China was planning to build hydroelectric dams, and under the Kyoto Treaty would receive carbon credits which it would be free to sell to other countries. But since China was planning to build those facilities anyway, there has really been no reduction of carbon fuel use on their part, and now some other country will have a license to pollute more.

A leading climate scientist, James Hansen of NASA, endorses a different approach: Impose a carbon tax, but distribute the revenue evenly amongst the citizenry. This offsets the economic burden of adding a new tax during these difficult times but still incentivizes reduced use of carbon fuels. The tax would increase over time to motivate people to shift over to other energy sources.

This approach would tax people with huge houses, gas guzzling cars, wasteful habits, and busy travel calendars more than people who make choices to conserve. It seems worth a shot, but since we are Americans after all, everyone will probably just keep going on as before thinking that they'll just be getting the money back anyway if most people make few changes. After all, even when we tax stupidity, people keep right on buying those blasted lotto tickets.

What foods are good for you is dependent on who you are.

A large study "with volunteers from across Europe" has shown that your specific genetics determines what type of diet is good for you. Basically, some people do just fine on a high saturated fat diet (the supposedly bad kind; the example given is Irish food), and do not have the expected health improvements when put on a low saturated fat diet (the Mediterranian diet). So eat, drink, and be merry, 'cause who knows what's going on? Me? I'm off for more sausages.

$165,000, or exactly how much it costs to put lipstick on a pit bull.

Yes, Sarah Palin at it again! This just must be habit by now, but I get a slightly guilty frisson of pleasure each time I read of her -oh-so-mock-fiscally conservative high jinks. Next, I'm guessing Moose emblazoned with Palin posters in trees.

What happened? The McCain campaign spent the princely sum of $110,000. for Sarah Palin's makeup and hairdressing, according to the New York Times, plus another $55,000 for her fashion stylist. I clearly need to change jobs. Good to know today, when we also found out that over a half million people lost their jobs in November.

The "Shatner", Updated

These garments, mirdles-----man-girdles----are being marketed ostensibly for providing lumbar support. Yeah, right. Seems more like they are for love handle containment. Or perhaps, as the model on the right seems to think, they are meant to provide extra sock storage. You decide.

In any event they help close the gap between men and women in terms of quality of life. Not the jump forward for women we all hope for, but a giant step back for men. Aahhh, progress.

Wow Daddy, Wow!

I just love this kid's excitement level. His ambivalence is classic.

Encore, Encore!

Wow, an anti-Prop 8 bit that is not preachy-----even when Jesus is speaking!

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Pretty Wild

Our yard is subject to scavenging by many wild animals. Rabbits, moles, groundhogs and deer devour my plantings. Large clutches of wild turkeys perch on our deck railing. (This is exciting in a good way until you notice that they ALWAYS poop upon departure, and turkeys are big birds! You really don't want 14 turkeys pooping on your deck in one fell swoop.)

Even worse however are the animals that tamper with the garbage cans. Raccoons knock our cans over and unlatch the "tamper-proof" garbage lids. After they finish festooning our yard with edible tidbits, the skunks arrive. Evidently something keeps startling the blasted skunks, for we frequently detect their acrid essence. The crows have even gotten in on the act. One of them pecked a hole the size of an orange in one of the lids (plastic, obviously), and now they visit that can regularly and pull out tempting morsels.


But we don't have coconut crabs! (This is not photo-shopped.) These creatures live in places such as Guam, and can crack coconuts easily with their powerful claws. I sure would not care to run across one while taking out the trash. So I guess I'll quit complaining and count my blessings-----oh wait, there are fifteen friggin' turkeys!

Sad news: The Complete Ubernerd passes away.

Tanta, whom we now know is actually Doris Dungey, has died of ovarian cancer at 47. These people whom we never meet, just pixillated words on a screen, can still move us. Perhaps blog posts are like the epistolary novels of the past; letters from an unknown, but probably not mythical, sender cast out into the ether. This concrete proof of her existence, I could do without.

She was the Complete Ubernerd. I suspect (and this is high praise), that she was even more boring than me. Wanna learn about finance? Go read one of her posts. I double dog dare ya'.

Sadly,

Djinn

Short On Talent

Meet Mini Kiss. Yes, the band includes only "little people". What else can I say-----only in America?

A post of Thanksgiving -- Rocking Chair.

The Band (obviously named before the creation of Google searching) had five members, three of which could sing like angels--Levon Helm, Rick Danko, and Richard Manuel. The fifth member, Robbie Robertson, wrote the songs, and legend has it, sang too, but with his mike turned off. Legend, again, has it that the "The Band" set at Woodstock did not make it to the movie because someone didn't understand the protocol and left Robbie's Mike in the ON position. Personal history (mine) has it that one of the few (or perhaps the only) actor/rock star I ever ever ever had a crush on was Rick Danko, for obvious reasons. The best and the worst reason I ever dated someone was because he was a ringer for Rick Danko. I heard Levon Helm's daughter interviewed a few years ago. When she was a child, she thought it was totally cool that her father was in a band with, yeah Rick Danko, who died in his forties of hard living. Ah, well.

Not the point of this post. My favorite singer of the group was Richard Manuel; unfortunately, there are few videos out there with him singing. I found one; it's a bit grainy, but the audio is lovely. In March 1986 he hanged himself in a Florida hotel room while on tour with the Band (minus Robbie Robertson.) Those boys didn't seem to get much out of their genius and fame. Love, Djinn.

"Rocking Chair." Happy Thanksgiving.



Click here to hear one of Richard Manuel's most beautiful songs, "Whispering Pines."

Surely you've figured out by now I'm a hopeless romantic.

Just found this, I need to fly away for thanksgiving in a couple of hours, perhaps I should go to bed; King Harvest live and even well recorded by one of the best bands ever. Enjoy.



And, if you insist, after many tryouts, here's my favorite Levon Helm vid.

Next Year or 2024. When Gay Marriage will be ruled a constitutional right?

My, sez Djinn, prediction. Next year. Or 2024. It's a long post, I know, but this is as short as I can make it. Want more info? Just ask.

California put on its ballot, this year, a citizen initiative to change the California constitution to declare marriage as allowable between only a man and a woman. The famous Proposition 8.

Subsequently, the California Supreme Court declared gays a protected class, subject to strict scrutiny; which means under the 14th amendment to the Constitution, they have a right to marry.

All discrimination is not created equal. In US law, there are three distinct categories, strict scrutiny, intermediate scrutiny, and rational relationship.

Strict scrutiny, as you may be able to ascertain from its name, is the strictest, and only applies when a fundamental right is infringed, or when a "suspect classification" is used. Race is a suspect classification. Under suspect classification, for example, blacks and whites cannot have separate water fountains, "separate but equal" does not win.

The California Supreme court has determined that Sexual Orientation is a "suspect classificaion" with the effect that laws applying to sexual orientation must be justified by a "compelling government interest," must be "narrowly tailored," and must be the "least restrictive means" of achieving the compelling governmental interest.

Gays in California used to have, and currently have the option of entering into "domestic partnerships" which have most, but not all, of the benefits of marriage at the state level. They have no benefits at the federal level.

Under "strict scrutiny," such "separate but equal" rights are clearly disallowed. It's why you or I cannot put up separate water fountains for blacks, or whites.

So.... The people of California have amended their constitution (with only 52% of the vote! But that's for a different rant.) to require marriage (this is a completely civil right, in that the benefits are granted totally by the government) to be between only a man and a woman.

But, under strict scrutiny, there are only two possible ways to handle one group being denied rights granted to another group. 1. Give the rights to the denied group (integrate schools, no separate water fountains) or, 2. Take the rights away from the privileged group. Bang, Zoom, thank you m'am, or sir.

The California constitution, by disallowing marriage between two people of the same sex, has now invalidated reason 1 of the possible solutions. Gays cannot be given marriage rights. However, reason 2 is still open; that is, Marriage can be denied to all. This is, I suspect, what the actual outcome will be. There is 3; another choice, the amendment could be declared a "revision," and thus subject to stricter standards to pass, that is 2/3rds majority in both CA governmental houses and a vote by the people. This would invalidate it, but there is very little case law to determine the probability of this, so let's think of the exciting possibilities.

Assuming the court doesn't choose revision, the only option available is to deny Marriage to all Californians, and give them all civil unions. This has serious consequences, as civil unions are not recognized by the US government, which would deny those couples now able to get married that right.

That is an important point, because state constitutions can add extra rights not guaranteed by the US constitution, but cannot subtract rights guaranteed by the constitution to all.

So, when (or if) California declares all marriages invalid under their constitution, we will be in a unique situation. For the very first time, the issue of Gay Marriage will be "ripe" to be heard by the Supreme Court.

Currently there are four almost 100% probable no votes for gay marriage, one unknown vote (Kennedy, the only vote that counts, because he is the swing) and four at least potentially probable yes votes. So, there's probably even odds, if the Supreme court hears this issue, that they will say "No."

However, Kennedy wrote the opinion in "Lawrence v. Texas," the ruling that gave gay people the constitutional right to have sex (in 2003!) and so is at least a probable "yes" vote.

In Lawrence, Kennedy penned that

"our laws and tradition afford constitutional protection to personal decisions relating to marriage, procreation, contraception, family relationships, child rearing, and education." ... "Persons in a homosexual relationship may seek autonomy for these purposes, just as heterosexual persons do.”

Sounds like he sees Gay marriage as a fundamental right. If so, then Americans might soon have a constitutional right to gay marriage, fueled, (ouch. My irony meter just broke...back to the shop.....) by the diligent efforts of the "Yes on 8" people in California.

Scalia, in his angry dissent in Lawrence agreed, stating:

Today’s opinion dismantles the structure of constitutional law that has permitted a distinction to be made between heterosexual and homosexual unions, insofar as formal recognition in marriage is concerned.

Assuming Kennedy votes "no", I ran a statistical analysis on the ages of the conservative justices to determine the average year one would die. (I possess such superpowers; but, to compensate look somewhere between silly and stupid in a bodysuit and cape. Not true, I can rock the cape, but no bodysuits or tights for me.) It's just about 16 years from now. If there is a Democrat in the White House in 2024, and an interceding Republican administration hasn't installed an anti-gay conservative (bit, uh opinionated, Djinn? Hell Yeah!) we, after every single other country in the first world (assuming we're still in that group) will finally decide that gay people have the right to get married. Pretty depressing.

Postscript. There are only five conservative justices, so the error bars on my prediction are pretty wide, but I used what material was at hand for my prediction. So there.

Very Busy Indeed

I haven't been posting much of late. Caught up in the seasonal rush, my days are spent as effectively as this cat's. The messes I make in the kitchen always out distance my cleanup efforts by just that little bit.
And Winter is just starting! Soon I will be shoveling during snowstorms as well.

Very very close to a Prince Song.

Due to popular demand, I attempted to locate a Prince song to post. Couldn't find "If I was your Girlfriend," couldn't find "Sexy MF," couldn't find "Scarlet Pussy," Couldn't even find "God." You think he (or his crack team of lawyers) would at least leave that one up. So, to fill the void, the best ever Prince song not, strangely enough, sung by Prince.

Beck -- Debra. Sample lyric: "I've got to get with youuuuuu, and your sister, I think her name's Debra." Plus bonus perfect falsetto, and cute little wiggle; not Beck's fault that he's somewhat lacking in the Booty department. Though I'm sad than no fishnets or high heels are directly involved. Lady, step inside my Hyundai.

Whoops!

Too bad they misspelled grammar! Or maybe that was their intent and I'm an idiot. Anyway, goofy T-shirtsare a great fashion investment for the recessionista.
They make great gifts too.

Not a Prince Song.

Sorry, guys, I was going to put up some inappropriate Prince song, but ran across this Public Image Ltd. song, Careering, off "Metal Box," instead, and could not resist. Metal box is a three album set released in what appeared to be a metal film canister, recorded at 45 RPM. Needless to say, I love it. Check out Jah Wobble's immense base line.



Here's John Lydon and Keith Levene (PIL's guitarists) on a talk show insisting that PIL is not, actually, a band, and they certainly don't play rock and roll. "They play rock and roll at airports." "A bunch of gits on stage."

The Missionary currently known as Prince

Or, tonight we're going to party like it's 1929!


Knocking on a door near you soon! Best news ever! I'd happily talk about the Bible with him, 'specially those good friends David and Jonathan, why God hates Shrimp, and if you really dislike your mother-in-law, how would you go about turning her into a pillar of salt? (What can I say, I spent years, years of my life in church with no reading material but the KJV, which has some rather fun bits.)

We, if I was really lucky, could also trade fashion and gossip tips: High heels and fishnets, wearable year-round or more of a summer fashion? And that Darlin' Nikki, what time should I show up at church to hear you play it?

From his hometown paper, the Minneapolis Star Tribune:

He told the magazine that he attends meetings at a local Kingdom Hall, and
he leaves his gated community in Los Angeles at times to knock on doors and
proselytize. "Sometimes people act surprised, but mostly they're really cool
about it," he said.

Oh, and Prince, I promise I'd be cool about it.

Housekeeping tip # 7 Go with the cheaper wine!

This study from the "American Association of Wine Economists" (as an aside, who knew such people existed, and what are their lunches like?), and its all scientific and everything, explains in excruciating detail, with graphs even that, well, let them speak:

Our main finding is that, on average, individuals who are unaware of the
price do not derive more enjoyment from more expensive wine. In fact, they
enjoy more expensive wines slightly less.

Two-buck chuck, here I come.

If you actually read the paper (not recommended without a bottle of your favorite plonk nearby) you'll also find out that if you think that wine A is more expensive than wine B, you may, indeed, prefer wine A. Paper bags all around, or that old standby, pour the cheap stuff into some expensive bottles you found lying around. Everyone will enjoy the fun!

Bush Administration Sneaks One Last Treat Into Oil and Gas Corporate Goody Bags

The Bureau of Land Management is offering over 350,000 new acres of land in Utah for leasing by oil and gas companies.

This is the fire sale, the Bush administration's last great gift to the oil and gas industry," said Stephen Bloch, a staff attorney for the Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance.

"The tracts of land offered here, next to Arches National Park or above Desolation Canyon, these are the crown jewels of America's lands that the BLM is offering to the highest bidder," he said.

An examination of the parcels, superimposing low-resolution government graphics onto Google Earth maps, shows that in one case drilling parcels bordering Arches National Park are just 1.3 miles from Delicate Arch.

"If you're standing at Delicate Arch, like thousands of people do every year, and you're looking through the arch, you could see drill pads on the hillside behind it. That's how ridiculous this proposed lease sale is," said Franklin Seal, a spokesman for the environmental group Wildland CPR.

This news was a surprise to the National Parks Service, but the head of BLM in Utah said notifying them was not required by law. The sale is scheduled for Dec. 19. Write your representatives now.

Yet another obsession

I swear, I'm preparing a post on the mid-nineties Japanese economy, the great depression, Weimar Germany, and the current state of the US Economy. But, wonkiness, and esp. short wonkiness (my gold standard) is difficult. So, in lieu of many many many numbers, I give you "Babyshambles," (with my favorite bad boy Pete Doherty) singing I'll *u*k forever, so don't listen if you think the FCC let Janet Jackson off too easy. Eveyone else, HOLY SHIT! (Oooops.) Live version. Without Babyshambles, and with bonus daisy.

Patriotic Gift Ideas

Visit 'America the Giftshop' for gift ideas this year.

Everything from furniture to toys, chocolate and fashion in one rather slow-loading site.

(Actual Merchandise not available. It's political art by Phillip Toledano)

Expat No More

(Warning: only click on Kamasutra if you really think you should!)


Living in exile in Paris while studying the Kamasutra with communists, Mickey now plans a return to his native country. Obama's inauguration should again make this country a haven for sexually depraved, french-speaking, commie-pinkos.... at least that is what Mickey has read in some blogs. Plus, he thinks Euro-Disney blows.

Hat-Eating Party TBA

Wow, Peter Schiff was right in all of his predictions, while Laffer, Stein and others ridiculed him. Note the difference in their communication style; Schiff offers reasoned explanations of his positions while the others basically just say he is laughably wrong, and offer no further insights except maybe for Laffer who injects some specious nonsense. Although Schiff is Republican----in a big Ron Paul kinda way----he does not subscribe to the delusional groupthink so endemic to the current GOP. Check this out:

What can I say? He was the Walrus, but now he's John (Lennon).

John Lennon, according to Rolling Stone, is the fifth best Rock and Roll singer ever. John didn't like his voice, and so, Phil Specter produced a number of his albums, which processed John's voice through various Rube Goldberg devices to make it sound .... uh.....well..... "I don't Believe in Magic," "the dream is over," but I believe in John, and so, dear friends, we'll just have to carry on.

Here's my favorite John Lennon Song, sans Phil Specter. Such raw emotion. He deserves his ranking. Mother. "Mama don't go, daddy come home."


One actual Live John Lennon song is not enough. Instant Karma.
"Why on the earth are we here? Surely not to live in pain and fear."


All you people who (theoretically) read my (and kerfuffler's) blog, but don't listen to the music videos, I know you're out there. I understand if you don't like the early 20th century 12 tone stuff, or the punk rock, or the riot grrrrrls, but you should really make an exception and listen to these two beautiful John Lennon songs. No downside. Plus there's bonus Japanese captions. Everybody now--"We all shine on. Like the moon and the stars and the sun. On and on and on and on."

I have to do something to help the world be even slightly better. Why on earth are we here? Surely not to live in pain and fear.

One more, "Imagine." And the world will live as one. A guitar version! Usually, John played it on piano. So it's special. Alright?????

Now off to bed with me, to dream of anonymity. I remember, vividly, where I was when I heard that John Lennon had been shot. I was in a humanities class at the University of Utah. On the 2nd floor. Of some building that my brother James free-climbed. The name? Lost to history. I burst into tears; for me, the only possible response. Still. Good thing I have allergies to blame my red eyes on.

As an exercise for the reader, and to keep this post from being any longer, look up "Working class hero."

Bush's greatest hits

In response to John Hinderaker's comment that Obama may have a difficult time following Bush elocution-wise, I post the following rebuttal:

Highlights: "I know that humans and fish can coexist peacefully." "Breast and Brightest." You'll have to listen to the rest.

Alternate Reality Conservatism

Obama recently made a silly jest referring to Nancy Reagan having seances at the White House. Conservatives have made a mountain out of this molehill, and Obama called Nancy to apologize in person. Conservative blogger, Hinderaker, wrote this week:

Bush never gets sloppy when he is speaking publicly. He chooses his words with care and precision, which is why his style sometimes seems halting. In the eight years he has been President, it is remarkable how few gaffes or verbal blunders he has committed. If Obama doesn't raise his standards, he will exceed Bush's total before he is inaugurated.

To which Bob Cesca, journalist, responded:

Fact: not only is the president-elect one of the finest orators in modern political history, but he far exceeds President Bush in terms of intellectualism and verbal discipline. In other words, a Bush gaffe reveals an inherent lack of intellectual curiosity and a general ineptitude when it comes to, well, talking. An Obama gaffe is an isolated incident, exclusive of his ability to speak, think and reason.

Gigantic Shop Of Horrors

Warning! Seriously hideous images to follow!

I live in a small upstate New York town with limited shopping choices. I found these dreadful offerings at our town's highest end department store, the Bon Ton. I didn't bother with rotating the images because with such ugly clothes, why bother?


My kids taught me a slang term, fugly; it would seem to apply here.




The following three sweaters all intermingle the same unwholesome shade of olive green with brighter colors (robin egg, cantaloupe, and lemon yellow) to gravely ill effect. Seriously, these look way better here than in person. These are all by Evan Picone. I suspect the designer is suffering from cataracts in both eyes.





And then there are these excrescences. The unabashedly grisly colors distract one from the horrible cut. The sleeves are bell shaped, an unfortunate choice for such a chunky textile. In real life, the taupe-grey background color of the second sweater ( the "unifying" color) appears more dominant, and brings to mind bruised flesh.


Here's a closeup of a top so you can see it's "floral" pattern clearly.


These last two are from the ritziest section of the store. Notice the green splotch on the ribbed neckline----it looks just like a guacamole stain. In a desperate bid to be bold, this designer threw together colors that just don't go!




The very existence of these preposterously horrid clothes makes me wonder about the efficacy of a free market society. How can competitive pressures to create superior products lead to such dismal results?

Stevens Currently Down In Alaskan Senate Recount!

The Senate race in Alaska may go to a Democrat after all! According to an Alaskan news source:

Begich, who was losing after election night, now leads Stevens by 814 votes -- 132,196 to 131,382 -- with the state still to count roughly 35,000 more ballots over the next week.

The state Division of Elections tallied some 60,000 absentee, early and questioned ballots on Wednesday. The ballots broke heavily in the Democrat's favor, erasing the 3,000-vote lead Stevens held after election night Nov. 4. ......

The state still needs to count at least 15,000 questioned ballots and an estimated 20,000 absentee ballots that made it to the Division of Elections after election day last Tuesday.

Since Democrats were encouraging their voters to vote early, the remaining ballots are likely to favor Begich.

More From Portland's Japanese Garden

I really can't recommend visiting this garden in the Fall highly enough. I was lucky that the sun was really bright the day I was there. The only challenge was taking shots that didn't have other photographers in them. The camera bugs were out in force.

"A Day In The Life Of A Conservative"

I found this here, but can't find the original source. I picture Joe the Plumber when I read it. (If you feel like skipping over some of this, make sure to read the last paragraph.)

Liberals Suck
(A Day in the Life of a Conservative)


Joe gets up at 6am and fills his coffee pot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. That medication is safe to take because some stupid Commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and efficacy.


All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance -- and now Joe gets it, too.

Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat-packing industry.

In his morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much of what it contained.

Joe gets dressed, walks outside, and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.


Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and DIED for these working standards. Joe's employer adheres to these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed through no fault of his own, he'll get a worker's compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

It's noon and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.

Joe is finally home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm in the country. He gets in his car, ready for the long drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't even have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

Joe is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so that Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back into his car for the drive home and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. The host doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day...indeed, throughout his LIFE. Joe agrees. "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of himself, just like I have."

KKK

A woman was just killed trying to leave an initiation ceremony for the KKK. (This man has been arrested in connection to this crime.) Read more here.

When will the FBI treat the KKK more like the terrorist organization that it is? With Obama as our President elect, this group will probably be inspired to commit more crimes against our citizenry and government.

The KKK and other extremist militias will need careful monitoring in the years ahead.

More Adventures of the Box Slider

(I came across this at Andrew Sullican's The Daily Dish. It was also included in the "magically appearing" videos that accompanied this cat's 13 second debut on adizzylife. I was afraid people might miss this, so I posted it separately for people to enjoy.)

This cat has a great hobby, huh?

The Blue Man Group Rocks

We saw them in Boston a couple of times and had a really great time. You may know them from their Pentium processor ads from a few years back, but they also do shows in many locations around the country that feature funny conceptual skits and loud thumping music.

One More Good Reason To Visit Portland

This pic was snapped in the Japanese Garden in Portland in mid October, 2008. I'd use it for my desktop except the icons don't show up well against it. (The picture has much more clarity from the file on my computer. I'm not sure why this image is so fuzzy here when enlarged.)

Office Space, The Remake

When movie producers get around to a remake of Office Space, they should really consider including this cat. In this screen test he absolutely convinces us of his zeal in combating recalcitrant office equipment. He doesn't even need the baseball bat.

Help for GM And Ford?

As we consider assistance to our ailing auto industry, we might want to consider whether or not they are genuinely looking at designing the alternative energy vehicles of the future. Our industry would have to compete with the innovative technologies being developed where energy efficiency is even more of a priority.

Consider these French models. (Pictures were taken in Paris, 2008, at an outdoor energy and transportation exhibition.)

This first specimen, the Biotop, not only uses alternative fuel------I'm guessing because of the name. Everything was in FRENCH! Merde.-----It also appears to feature a state of the art spin cycle. (And it's soooo cute.)

























This next high concept vehicle is quintessentially French with it's existential approach to the very notion of a conveyance. Alas, even with the umbrellas it is unlikely to protect the "occupants" from rain or other inclement weather. (In fact, to me it looks more like he is trying to get struck by lightening than trying to move.) Just maybe, our automotive industry can come up with an alternative that outperforms this sublimely minimalist contender.

13 seconds of your life

A very short story of a cat and a box. And, we can imagine, the sound "Wheeeeee."

Feeling Thankful

Bush may have overstepped some bounds when he massaged the German Prime Minister, but he never went as far as Berlusconi (the Italian Prime Minister) did, actually humping some woman as a joke. That's right, I have found a humiliation to which Bush has not yet managed to subject us! Poor Italy, saddled with such a boob.

And now for something completely different....

Sleevefacing!