Monday, September 29, 2008

Ever seen a nursing mother?



Notice the, ah, bristols on Bristol. I nursed three babies, and recognize the symptoms. The uneven nature of the, ah, breastage, leads me to believe that one was emptied more thoroughly than the other on the last feeding, and that this is not just pre-baby horomones. Also notice how soft they look (not too closely, give the poor girl a bare minimum of privacy). Poor Bristol. They're sore, too, as I recall. Also note the belly--post baby look. While not normally a conspiracy theorist, this one dovetails perfectly with my views on the matter. "If it can be explained by stupidity, it's not conspiracy." Here, for the very first time in my life, stupidity lines up perfectly with conspiracy! Yee Haw!! (Except, of course, for my poor poor country.) Plus, look how much in love the two lovebirds look. Poor dears.

PS. Doesn't getting a tattoo (see inset) with the loved one's name guarantee a breakup in the near future?

H/T to Crooks and Liars for the Pic.

8 comments:

kerfuffler said...

But if she is nursing the baby, why is that hand holding a bottle of baby formula in the lower left corner?

In any event someone should buy Bristol a dress that she isn't about to burst out of.

For the record, I always believed it was Sarah's baby, but this pic does make Bristol look more post partum than preggers. When was this pic shot?

djinn said...

The hand is holding the baby formula bottle because Bristol is unable to nurse on schedule, which is why she is about to split the seams of her dress. Her body is not on the same timetable as the event she and Levi are attending. More evidence! My first and only conspiracy theory. Mush milk it for all its worth.

kerfuffler said...

By "left", I meant Bristol's left.
(Ahem, right)

Are you sure this your first conspiracy theory? You seem so experienced.

djinn said...

Nope, my first; well, there is the whole Mormonism thing. Anyway, I think the pic was taken on Sept. 3, during Sarah Palin's acceptance speech at the RNC.

kerfuffler said...

If you are interested in another conspiracy, check out

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marty-kaplan/why-the-debates-wont-matt_b_130104.html

This really scares me!

djinn said...

Gee whiz, kerfuffler, that is truly terrifying. Imagine long streak of bad here. What is the matter with our beloved country? Did you know George is a Brit? He needs to get his British passport renewed. That's my well-thought out plan. Brave sir robin bravely ran away.

kerfuffler said...

Whoops, did I just make the blog depressing? Sorry!

djinn said...

It's the world's fault. The poor blog can only work with the material it's got. Besides, I'm not depressed. Rather cheered, in fact. The Paulson "all your money is mine" plan appears to have failed failed failed. Yay Yay Yay. Maybe they'll reform that terrible bankruptcy bill, give homeowners some relief-- a girl (even when aging) can dream.