Africa is a great country with great people, and I love big animals you can shoot.

Are there helicopters for rent?

Sarah Palin (new name "Dummdumm Spice") didn't know that Africa was a continent. It's obvious why none of her kids are in school these days. "Education," "Reading," and "watching the commie Fox news station" are quite apparently only activities that the Godless liberal elite dabble in. This clip is from Fox News. That's right, Fox News.

However, a short rant. WHT DIDN'T THIS SO-CALLED REPORTER TELL US THE DEPTHS OF THIS WOMEN'S STUPIDITY PRIOR TO THE ACTUAL VOTE? Ok, that was a trick question; this is one rather dramatice piece of evidence that Fox is obviously just a mouthpiece for the Repubs. But still, don't you think it would worry your average non-brain dead staff member at Fox news to know that the woman who had a distinct possibility of being president didn't know that Africa was a continent? What else doesn't she know?



"How could they end up with a running mate that didn't know that Africa is a continent?" One Heartbeat away from the presidency, almost, people. Plus bonus tissy fits.

For reasoned commentary on this post, see here.

On only a slightly different matter, what if Palin did run against McCain in 2012? What would a debate be like?

Wasilla hillbillies looting Neiman Marcus -- or I can see Neiman Marcus from My House

Thanks to Newsweek, we now know that Sarah Palin spent much more on clothing than had previously been reported.

Appparently, Palin was told to buy three suits and get a stylist. Instead

the vice presidential nominee began buying for herself and her family—clothes and accessories from top stores such as Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman Marcus. ... Palin also used low-level staffers to buy some of the clothes on their credit cards. The McCain campaign found out last week when the aides sought reimbursement. One aide estimated that she spent "tens of thousands" more than the reported $150,000, and that $20,000 to $40,000 went to buy clothes for her husband. Some articles of clothing have apparently been lost. An angry aide characterized the shopping spree as "Wasilla hillbillies looting Neiman Marcus from coast to coast," and said the truth will eventually come out when the Republican Party audits its books.

I recommond reading the whole article. It has lots of fun nuggets, such as Clinton & McCain get along really well, etc.

If you didn't notice, OBAMA WON!

Four years ago when Bush won again, I stayed in bed all day out of grief.

Today, though, I am so happy I feel like bursting out into cliches! Change we can believe in! Morning in America! Tippacanoe and Tyler too! Give 'em Hell, Obama; I like Obama; I still like Obama; I'm just wild about Obama; In your heart, you know he's right; It's the economy, stupid. Keep cool and keep Obama; an Obama in time saves nine; You can count your Obama's now because they've hatched; It's an Obama night stand; as hot as Obama; busy as an Obama.

Vote.

Vote. Or more punk rock for you. With shaky camera work and bad audio. Oh how I love it......... And definitely more Mountain Goats.

I tried to find The Clash singing "Revolution Rock" live to no avail, so we can just sit still for the appropriate time and listen to a conceptual version of John Cage's 4′33″, three movements, each "played" silently. OK, one, two, three, GO!

Oh, I got to vote by mail, here in Oregon, but managed to forget to stamp my ballot. My kind mailperson knocked on the door (I was home sick, thank goodness) stamp was applied, and I did my civic duty.


I could barely sleep last night, after seeing the election stolen in 2000, and so close in 2004 (you can probably surmise that I am a Democrat. A bad democrat. A democrat who votes a straight ticket unless there is some compelling reason to not.) Thank goodness for all the geeky graphs and polls available for me to pour over. Yeah moving averages!

You may wonder about the random images; I love roses and Andy Warhol pics, they're there totally to calm me down. BTW, the rose is "Charles de Mills," which I had planted a few weeks ago.

A Wonderful Video, no kidding

Colby Stead, Tugging the Truth

And even though it looks like Colby might be showing a bit more of him than one may feel appropriate, I can assure you after, uh, really not that many viewings, under, uh, 10? nothing untoward is actually seen.

Update: I should confess that my dear friend Amy Robinson, Colby's girlfriend, almost certainly did the body paint and might have done the photography, but she hasn't answered my emails on the subject. According to Facebook instead she's making stuff! Yay!

Some soothing music to calm your roiled heart

before the election.



"Doctor Atomic" by John Adams. (Try Googling him. Why didn't his parent's name him something like 'Peregrine'? Perhaps it's required of a minimalist to have a name with a minimal footprint.) The song is "Batter my heart," the lyrics are the John Donne poem, and in context it's about nuclear war, death, annihilation, love, loss, peace, the Council of Nicea, perhaps I'm getting carried away here....

Divorce me,'untie or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you'enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me."

Thanks to my sweet daughter apricot blossom for the idea.

Important life change for Djinn

I've just learned about Anioa, the Goddess of things that get stuck in drawers. Sorry Ceiling Cat, I'm converting.

Need another reason to vote for Obama?

From the Financial times:

The best-kept secret in Washington is that Barack Obama has the largest and most disciplined presidential transition team anyone can recall. Headed by John Podesta, former chief of staff in Bill Clinton's White House, it started work well before the financial meltdown hit in September but has been swamped by its implications ever since.

Transition insiders, who are under strict orders from the Obama campaign not to talk to the media to avoid giving the impression Mr Obama thinks he has won already, contrast it particularly with Mr Clinton's transition in 1992, which was based in Little Rock, Arkansas, and turned into an extended symposium on every subject under the sun.

No Halloween Candy Or Tips for Obama Supporters

"I was shocked, when she turned away kids, little kids, because their parents were voting for Obama."

Classy. She did it her way.

Here's an even classier trend--stiffing waitstaff on principle if Obama wins. WTF?


Here's some actual class, Sid Vicious, doing it his way.

A Musical Interlude

Jolie Holland performs her song "Mexico City" live in her Brooklyn apartment. This is off of her new album, "The living and the dead," which also has a song about her gay mormon friend who committed suicide, "Corrido por Buddy," but I couldn't find a copy. So, enjoy, without worrying about any thematic element.

John McCain -- Friend of Acorn, and Hypocrite

Here's a youtube clip of John McCain as the keynote speaker at an Acorn rally in 2006.



Here's a webpage at the official McCain-Palin website attempting to smear Obama for his Acorn ties. Hmmm. I don't see McCain's own Acorn ties mentioned.

I still have four days to write about Sarah Palin

Palin Punk'd by Radio Station into giving 'interview' with Pres. Sarkozy of France.

(?)

Tee Hee. It's been confirmed by the VP's office.

Update: Joe Biden on the prank call: "Apparently whoever didn't vet her, didn't vet her calls either."



Here's a transcript, for your reading pleasure, but you should really listen, at least to hear Palin simper. It is soooo funny in a sad schadenfreude way. And in a happy happy funny way too. The French accents on the pranksters are to laugh.


FNS - Fake Nicholas Sarkozy
SP - Real Sarah Palin

Ring

SP Assist: This is Betsy.
MA: Hello, Betsy. This is [??], I’m with President Sarkozy, on the line for Governor Palin.

SP Assist: One second please, can you hold on one second please?
MA: No problem.

SP Assist: Hi, I’m going to hand the phone over to her.
MA: Okay thank you very much I’m going to put the president on the line.
SP Assist: Ok he’s coming to the line.

SP: This is Sarah.
MA: Okay, Governor Palin?

SP: Hellloooo...(long drawn out, like Well, hellooooo)
MA: Just hold on for President Sarkozy, one moment.
SP [To someone in the room]: Oh, it’s not him yet, I always do that. I’ll just have people hand it to me right when it’s them.

FNS: Yes, hello, Governor Palin? Yes, hello, Mrs. Governor?
SP: Hello this is Sarah., how are you?

FNS: Fine, and you, this is Nicolas Sarkozy speaking, how are you?
SP: Oh...so good, it’s so good to hear you. Thank you for calling us.

FNS: Oh, it’s a pleasure.
SP: Thank you sir, we have such great respect for you, John McCain and I, we love you and thank you for spending a few minutes to talk to me.

FNS: I follow your campaigns closely with my special American Advisor Johnny Hallyday, you know? [Johnny Hallyday is an iconic french singer/actor who lives in Switzerland.]

SP: Yes! Good!

FNS: Excellent! Are you confident?
SP: Very confident and we’re thankful that the polls are showing that the race is tightening and--

FNS: Well I know very well that the campaign can be exhausting. How do you feel right now my dear?
SP: Ah, I feel so good. I feel like we’re in a marathon and at the very end of the marathon, you get your second wind and you plow to the finish—

FNS: You see, I got elected in France because I’m real and you seem to be someone who’s real as well.
SP: Yes, yeah, Nicolas, we so appreciate this opportunity.

FNS: You know, I see you as a president, one day, you too.
SP: [Muahaaa...weird laugh], maybe in 8 years. Haha

FNS: Well, ah, I hope for you. You know we have a lot in common because personally one of my favorite activities is to hunt too.
SP: [Giggle]o h very good, we should go hunting together.

FNS: Exactly! We could go try hunting by helicopter, like you did, I never did that.
SP: [Giggle]

FNS: Like we see in France [something French]
SP: [Giggle] Well I think we could have a lot of fun together as we’re getting work done, we can kill two birds with one stone that way.

FNS: I just love killing those animals. Mm, mm. Take away a life, that is so fun!
SP: [Hahahaha]

FNS: I’d really love to go as long as we don’t bring your Vice president Cheney, hahaha.
SP: No, I’ll be a careful shot, yes.

FNS: You know we have a lot in common also except that from my house I can see Belgium. That’s kind of less interesting than you.
SP: Well, see, we’re right next door to other countries that we all need to be working with, yes.

FNS: Some people said in the last days, and I thought that was mean, that you weren’t experienced enough in foreign relations, and you know, that’s completely false, that’s the thing I said to my great friend, the Prime Minister of Canada, Stef Carse [Stephen Harper is the PM].
SP: Well, he’s doing fine, too, and yeah when you come into a position underestimated, it gives you the opportunity to prove the pundits and the critics wrong. You work that much harder-

FNS: I, I was wondering because you are also next to him, one of my good friends, also, the prime minister of Quebec, Mr [Jean Charest?], have you met him recently? Did he come to one of your rallies?
SP: Uh, haven’t seen him at one of the rallies, but it’s been great working with the Canadian officials in my role as governor; we have a great cooperative effort there as we work on all of our resource development projects. You know I look forward to working with you and getting to meet you personally and your beautiful wife, oh my goodness, you’ve added a lot of energy to your country, even, with that beautiful family of yours.

FNS: Thank you very much. You know my wife, Carla, would love to meet you. You know even though she was a bit jealous that I was supposed to speak to you today. [Hahahaha]
SP: [Hahahha] Well give her a big hug from me.

FNS: You know my wife is a popular singer and a former top model and she’s so hot in bed. She even wrote a song for you.
SP: Oh my goodness! I didn’t know that.

FNS: Yes, in French, it’s called [something in French that translates to "Lipstick on a pig"] or if you prefer in English Joe the Plumber, [sings] It’s his life, Joe the Plumber..."
SP: Maybe she understands some of the unfair criticism but I bet you she is such a hard worker, too, and she realizes you just plow through that criticism like

FNS: I just want to be sure, I don’t’ quite understand the phenomenon "Joe the Plumber," that’s not your husband, right?
SP: Mmhmm, that’s into my husband but he’s a normal American who just works hard and doesn’t want government to take his money.

FNS: Yes, yes, I understand, we have the equivalent of Joe the Plumber in France, it’s called, "Marcel, the guy with bread under his armpit, oui."
SP: Right. That’s what it’s all about, is the middle class, and government needing to work for them. You’re a very good example for us here.

FNS: I seen a bit about NBC even Fox News wasn’t an ally, an ally, sorry, about as much as usual.
SP: Yeah that’s what we’re up against.

FNS: I must say, Governor Palin, I love the documentary they made on your life, you know, Hustler’s "Nailin Palin."
SP: Oh, good, thank you. Yes.

FNS: That was really edgy.
SP: [Laughs] Well good.

FNS: I really love you. And I must say something, so, Governor, you’ve been pranked.
By the Master Avengers. We’re two comedians from Montreal
SP: Oohhh have we been pranked? And what radio station is this? [tries to force herself to sound nice but you can tell she’s pissed]

FNS: This is for CKOI in Montreal.
SP: In Montreal? Tell me the radio station call letters
[SP leaves phone, continuous griping in background, sounds like, "For chrissakes...that was ??? Just a radio station prank...chrissakes..."]

MA: Hello? If one voice can change the world for Obama, one Viagra can change the world for McCain.
[Man’s voice in background: hang up, hang up.]
SP Assist: Hi, I’m sorry, I have to let you go. Um, thank you.

More info on how Sarah Palin got the call in the first place. It was routed through her Governer's office. I'm sure the McCain people are pleased as punch about this.

Someone Kinda Beat Me To It

Wizmark, the talking urinal cake!

I was considering different monuments for the Bush-Cheney years. First I considered a giant spittoon. As I became angrier a urinal seemed more satisfying, but that would make it hard for women to participate, and besides there is already an iconic urinal in Western culture. (Duchamp's urinal artwork has been called the most influential piece of modern art to date.)

And that's when it hit me, it should be a gigantic urinal cake! It just seems so emblematic of the GOP's efforts to mask their corruption and greed (Stinkiness) with phony, over-the-top protestations of Christian faith (cloyingly sweet, overpowering urinal cake stench).

The best part is that it would completely disappear over time, and we wouldn't be left with any monument to them at all!

Only one word stands between us and this perfect monument: NIMBY!

Darting About With Cunning And Vigor

These knights do more that dart about. They take wing!


My title for this post was taken from a line in Woody Allen's The Gossage-Vardebedian Papers. It's a hilarious story in the form of an exchange of letters in a correspondence chess game. Hostility escalates throughout the exchange as discrepancies emerge regarding the positions of the pieces. If you haven't read it, you should!

Bass Ackwards

Palin recently complained

"If [the media] convince enough voters that that is negative campaigning, for me to call Barack Obama out on his associations,then I don't know what the future of our country would be in terms of First Amendment rights and our ability to ask questions without fear of attacks by the mainstream media."

Glenn Greenwald (from Salon ) puts Palin's perspective in perspective.

If anything, Palin has this exactly backwards, since one thing that the First Amendment does actually guarantee is a free press. Thus, when the press criticizes a political candidate and a Governor such as Palin, that is a classic example of First Amendment rights being exercised, not abridged......

...... According to Palin, what the Founders intended with the First Amendment was that political candidates for the most powerful offices in the country and Governors of states would be free to say whatever they want without being criticized in the newspapers. The First Amendment was meant to ensure that powerful political officials would not be "attacked" in the papers. It is even possible to imagine more breathaking ignorance from someone holding high office and running for even higher office?